我沒有說謊 ;)

Its November, and I realised that the last entry here was dated 15th of October. Its been more than a month since I've left an entry here! Time really flies when you are preoccupied with work. Haha.

Its been five weeks since I last visited my blog. In these five weeks, I've started on my excruciating path down Obstetrics and Gynaecology, which really isn't a breeze to go through at all. In the past five weeks, I've delivered babies, I've seen (and examined) the nether regions of many women, I've touched countless pregnant bellies and I've come to reinforce my conclusion that O and G is definitely not my cup of tea. Its not as disgusting as I had envisioned it be to, and truth be told, its definitely easier than paediatrics, but honestly you have to really enjoy interacting and dealing with hormonal, angry and grumpy women to love O and G. Its definitely a job for women. Who better to deal with women than women themselves?

I haven't been doing much in the past few weeks except work work work. There was playhouse in which I was glad that I could at least help out a bit in the production. There were the occasional meetings with family and friends. And then there was the period of severe depression and exhaustion that lasted for 5 days or so. But I'm glad that the depression is over (the exhaustion, unfortunately, is never ever going to go away!) and I think I shouldn't have a problem surviving the last 3 weeks before the end of my most feared posting.

Anyway, I was studying when this random thought just floated into my brain: people lie all the time, whether or not they actually meant for these lies to hurt is another matter altogether. I think alot of people lie to people that they are close to: be it girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses, family, friends, mistresses/lover etc. Very often, we don't lie to those that we aren't close to at all. We couldn't care less if they heard the painful truth, so we just give them a dose of toxic reality and let them deal with the consequences. But when it comes to someone who you genuinely like, you can help but lie - whether its preferring to avoid letting them know the truth, whether its acting as if nothing bad ever happened and just letting them continue to live on with their lives, we prefer to avoid dumping the ugly truth on them. We do so because we supposedly care about their feelings and emotions, to 'protect' them, but sometimes, such actions would result in more harm than good.

The truth is an extremely fickle and dangerous thing. I don't really like to be faced with it, but I think we are unfortunately forced to deal with it everyday. I feel like I'm forced to cope with it be telling more lies which sends everything into a conundrum of repetitive causality and effect. I guess lying is a coping mechanism, to hide from the realities of the world - some people live in fantasies, some people live in lies.

It just so happens that Yoga 林宥嘉's new album has this fantastic new song called "說謊"!


"我沒有說謊 我何必說謊
愛一個人 沒愛到難道就會怎麼樣
別說我說謊 人生已經如此的艱難
有些事情就不要拆穿"
I think this stanza is appropriately apt. At the end of the day, I guess its better to live with the lies and avoid uncovering them - some things are better left uncovered. :)