if only we could dissect everything.

This is my first entry in almost 2 months, and I've felt like I've been on an amazing life changing journey since that entry dated 2nd April. I'm still in New York, the Big Apple. The city's great, but I definitely miss London more. There's something about New York that fascinates me, but after awhile, it really gets onto you. Its not that good a place to live in, and when you are up against a place like London, a place that I love so much, a place that holds such a special place in my heart, New York really kinda flounders. But its still a great exciting place to visit.

I'm currently typing this entry at Mt Sinai's library now. I guess I'm really supposed to be in Surgery right now, but to be honest, I don't know if I can stand to observe or scrub in to another surgery here. The surgery I was supposed to go for is an Aterio-venous fistula creation, something that I've seen over 4 times during my stay here and I seriously do not want to watch another again. I don't understand these Americans though. They expect us to keep watching the same surgeries over and over again and when we choose not to, they grumble that we should do so because that's the whole point of residency. But we AREN'T on residency! Surgery's BORING. Oh my god. I wanna stick a scalpel in their Jugulars. And then they go on about how everything here's our choice. And when we make a choice that's the opposite of what they expect us to do, they grumble. Typical American style democracy: you can choose what you want, but as long as its not the same decision as theirs, its not a good decision.

I think Americans are much too intense for their own good. Its not as if they are super stellar or outstanding; they are about as efficient as the British, and that's not a compliment either. But I like the British way of doing things more - they have a more relaxed, more reserved way of making decisions and accepting decisions. I think Britain rules. Here everyone treats the patients so aggressively, I sometimes wonder if they're killing them instead. Its horrendous, unethical even. I dunno, I'm glad I came on this posting, because I'm convinced that I would NEVER ever want to work in the USA. The system's just not for me. Its a very enterprise like system, too commercialized, to business-like. I pray that Singapore's health care system isn't evolving to something similar, because it certainly isn't the right way to go.

I have so much thoughts about these two months. One day, I'll have to settle myself down to properly make sense of it all. Time to grab lunch. Tata!